The month is almost over, and my motive of research has become increasingly self-discovering. Not only does the knowledge I've inquired come from books and documentaries, but personal opinion and social network-based expression. There's been a lot of talk about non-racial unity since the month started.
Often times, my enthusiasm about learning and unwrapping my heritage gets questioned. I usually answer with, "It's good to know where you come from...". When it gets interrupted with, "But times aren't like that anymore. Shouldn't you try to make your own history?", I patiently just state that it's out of extracurricular interest. What I'd like to say is, "Bitch nigga, if my history wasn't so HALF-HIDDEN and filled with white people beat my ass, it wouldn't be so politically incorrect, now would it?!" Why is it every other ethnicity in the world can talk about their roots to each other, or even share their long-lived culture with others, but the moment I can utter syllables that may lead the "Black People", the offended want to talk about unity?... Unity?! The Vatican has concealed secrets about the original name for Africa, I don't know where my grandparents come from. Meanwhile you know the story of Cinco De Mayo like the back of your hand, read journals Anne Frank in your domestic AND public library, but suddenly, when I begin an endeavor to find an origin to be more than depressed about, it's all about unity? I may be racist (if you feel the necessity to question), but riddle me this, at the end of the day, doesn't knowing your legacy help you place yourself in this world, whether it be what should be expected of you, or what IS expected of you? Well, I ain't got that. I feel as though, everybody else is slightly offended by my research, because we all have a clue that it's one of many dirty paths, filled with "manifest destiny", raped women, murdered children, and missing men (or vice versa). You get to sing about mystical forests and good Ye Olde patriotic war stories, I had to sing "Strange Fruit" in celebration of one of our past beloved heroes, who was assassinated might I add.
I'm determined to believe there is a history of my people that surpasses slave trade and Egypt. Why do I have to remain silent to accommodate an ALREADY self-acknowledged population, and DEAL with the complexion this society hates most. Don't I deserve to develop a genuine confidence in not only my uniqueness, but my background? Yes... I certainly do. I don't run all up and down your timeline bashing whatever artifact you find about your culture with the words racist, anti, and rebellious. So stay the hell out of my virtual face, about how YOU feel when it comes to my identity. Let me have my 28-29 days of truth.
